A SMALLER CIRCLE A FULLER HEART - DON'T FEEL SMALL WHEN YOUR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS TURNS TO A DOT

Dot of friendship -
Photo by Leah Newhouse: https://www.pexels.com

As I stood in my kitchen, waiting for the water to boil to make myself a cup of coffee, I instinctively reached for my phone and opened Instagram. The first post that appeared was from Mel Robbins. It was a picture of her beaming smile with a big note next to it that read something like: "My circle of friends is getting smaller, and it's no longer a circle. It's a dot."

I couldn’t help but smile; a big, knowing smile because I could totally relate. My circle of friends had also shrunk, reduced to what now felt like a dot. But instead of feeling lonely, I felt a profound sense of peace. It was a realization that settled warmly in my chest. Maybe this is exactly what I need right now. Maybe, for this season of my life, a dot is the perfect shape for my friendships.

Then, I thought about how much I now enjoy solitude, not as an escape but as a choice. Even when I go on trips with friends, I find myself relishing the quiet moments, watching the clouds drift, soaking in the lush green landscapes, and listening to the sounds of nature. Conversations, when they happen, feel more meaningful. I crave deep, enriching discussions over idle chatter that leaves me drained.

It was just like the other day when my cousin invited me for a power walk. As we reached a quieter path with fewer people around, she asked me a simple question: "How has 2025 been treating you so far?"

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It was such a small question, yet it felt like it unlocked something inside me. Instantly, I felt a rush of energy and responded enthusiastically, “AMAZING!!!” I even threw my arms up in excitement, feeling like a child who just got a new toy. My cousin laughed at my excitement, and her smile mirrored my joy.

Then, she asked another question: "How’s life in your new place?"

Again, without hesitation, I beamed, “AMAZING!!!” I could feel the warmth of my own smile stretching across my face. In that moment, I realized just how much my life had transformed. I wasn’t just saying I was happy. I truly felt it in every fiber of my being.

Reflecting on that day now, I see how powerful a simple question can be. I see how the right company can either drain or energize us. I understand why, in the past, I often felt exhausted after social interactions because my energy was being drained by people who weren’t aligned with my current season of life.

And that’s when it hit me, just like seasons change, so do friendships. We don’t truly “lose” people; rather, we walk together for a time, and when the season shifts, our paths diverge. And maybe, just maybe, our roads will cross again in the future.

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That day, what was meant to be a short power walk with my cousin turned into an entire day of deep, uninterrupted conversation. We moved from my porch to a juice café, sharing stories, dreams, and plans for the future. We talked about ourselves, not about others. We listened intently, maintaining warm eye contact, completely present in the moment, undistracted by our phones. Hours slipped away effortlessly, and before we knew it, it was already 1 PM.

Reflecting on that occasion, I realized how that day didn’t just refresh me. It reminded me of the kind of energy I want in my life. It reinforced that friendships aren’t about numbers or circles. Sometimes, a dot is all you need; a single, meaningful connection that fills you up instead of depleting you.

So, if your circle of friends has become a dot, don’t mourn it. Instead, embrace it. Maybe this is the season where you learn to truly enjoy your own company, find the right energy to surround yourself with, and cherish the conversations that nourish your soul.

How about you? Have you ever felt this shift in friendships? How has it changed you?