HOW TO STOP REPLAYING THE PAST AND MOVE FORWARD

 

Mindful time - Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com

Life is often unpredictable. It can feel like everything is going smoothly, until an unexpected event shakes up your world. That’s exactly what happened to me recently.

When it unfolded, I wasn’t prepared. The discomfort was real—a wave of emotions that seemed unrelenting—but deep down, I knew that it happened for me, not to me. Even though I fully understood that, facing it was never easy. I heard that it takes courage to go through this journey as many of us would rather choose a different path, like... to drink it away. So, gently I reminded myself to be patient with myself. There must be a purpose for this. I just needed time to see it clearly.

In those first few days, I allowed myself space to adjust to the aftermath. I pulled back, disconnected momentarily from the noise of the world, and asked for God’s guidance. I wanted to understand why this was happening and what I needed to learn from it. I knew this wasn’t about dismissing the event; it was about transforming it—and transforming myself through it.

Also read: Why Leaving My 9-5 Job Was the Best Decision for Peace and Success

Recognizing the Cycle: Living in the Past

What I noticed during those quiet moments of reflection was how often my brain kept replaying the event—like a movie stuck on repeat. You’ve probably experienced something similar: that one uncomfortable scene keeps popping up, uninvited, at the most random times. It takes over, dragging you back into the feelings of hurt, frustration, or regret.

At that moment, I remembered something profound that Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches: when we constantly revisit painful memories, we are living in the past. That was exactly what I was doing without even realizing it. But knowing that I was ‘stuck’ was also empowering because it led me to an important question:

How do I move on?

Also read: Elevate Your New Year to be More Resonance with This Approach

From Resistance to Acceptance

At first, I did what many of us instinctively do: I tried to push the memory away. I thought, If I could just stop thinking about it, maybe it will disappear. But you know what happens when you try to resist something? It comes back stronger.

So, I decided to shift my approach. Instead of resisting the memory or pretending it didn’t matter, I chose to welcome it. Yes, you read that right. I allowed the memory to surface fully.

When that uncomfortable scene began playing in my brain, I didn’t fight it. I sat with it—as an observer rather than a victim. I asked myself: Why does this memory keep appearing? What is it trying to show me? More importantly, I asked: What am I really feeling right now?

Was it hurt? Regret? Disappointment? Once I identified the emotion, I didn’t push it down. Instead, I did something powerful: I accepted it. I allowed myself to feel the feeling without judgment. I gave myself permission to just be with it, no matter how uncomfortable it was.

Also read: Don't Rush into New Year's Resolutions - Do This First

Why Feeling the Feeling Matters

What I learned through this process is that avoiding our emotions only delays our healing. Those unresolved feelings don’t simply disappear; they linger beneath the surface, waiting for a chance to resurface. They show up in different ways—whether through replayed memories, unexplainable reactions, or even physical tension.

The reason the memory kept replaying was simple: it was unfinished business. The feelings connected to the experience hadn’t been fully processed. And as uncomfortable as it may sound, the only way to truly heal was to face those feelings head-on—to fully bask in them without resistance.

So I let myself feel it all. The hurt, the disappointment, the sadness—whatever arose, I allowed it. In doing so, I was no longer suppressing my emotions or living in denial. Instead, I was giving them the space they needed to transform. It was liberating, even though the process itself wasn’t easy.

Also read: The Two Journal Method - My Journey to a Life-Changing Method

The Gift in the Discomfort

What I realized in this journey was that our most uncomfortable experiences are often our greatest teachers. By leaning into the discomfort rather than running from it, we create space for growth, clarity, and healing.

For me, this experience was a reminder of the importance of slowing down and listening—listening to what my mind, my emotions, and my soul were trying to tell me. It was an invitation to process unfinished business and move forward, no longer weighed down by the past.

As I write this now, I feel a deeper sense of peace. The memory still exists, but its power over me has lessened. And that, I think, is what healing looks like: not forgetting the past, but no longer being controlled by it.

Moving Forward

So, if you’re struggling to move on from something in your own life, here’s what I encourage you to do:

1. Allow the memory to surface without resistance. Stop pushing it away; welcome it instead.

2. Observe the feeling. Ask yourself: What am I really feeling? Don’t judge it—just notice it.

3. Give yourself permission to feel. Let yourself fully experience the emotion. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.

4. Be patient with yourself. Healing is a process. It’s okay to take time.

Remember, the things that resurface in our lives do so for a reason. They’re not meant to destroy us—they’re meant to show us where we still need to heal. When you embrace the discomfort, you allow yourself the chance to grow, to learn, and to let go.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly the lesson God wants us to learn.

What about you? Have you ever experienced something similar? Share your story—let’s grow together on this journey of healing and acceptance.