WHY HEALING YOUR PAST IS THE KEY TO TRUE GROWTH

 

Heal Your Past - Photo by Shiva Smyth: https://www.pexels.com

As I sit here with a cup of tea, flipping through old journals, I’m struck by the sheer weight of emotions they hold. These journals are more than just pages filled with words; they’re fragments of a journey—my journey. The intention was simple when I picked them up: to review some important lessons, notes, and reflections, both from my own life and from what I had learned through others. But what I found in those pages was far more profound than I had anticipated.

I saw a younger version of myself who was determined to make sense of life’s chaos. There were moments of raw vulnerability, pages soaked in self-reminders to stay strong, personal analysis of why things happened the way they did, and dreams so big they felt almost out of reach. As I read through them, I was overwhelmed with emotions—a strange cocktail of sorrow, pride, and gratitude. How much I had endured. How much I had grown. And how much I had resisted along the way.

The intellectual clarity in those entries astounded me. I had written about the importance of letting go, of forgiving myself, of being patient. I understood these concepts well enough to articulate them clearly on paper. But in practice? That was an entirely different story. I remembered the struggles vividly: the nights spent wrestling with anxiety, the resistance to change, the self-sabotage that felt both mysterious and maddening. I couldn’t help but feel a deep compassion for the person I was back then—a person who didn’t give up, even when giving up felt easier.

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Now, looking back from a place of greater peace and serenity, I can see the big picture that eluded me then. The struggles, the resistance, and the inner turmoil were rooted in places I hadn’t yet dared to explore. Some of those roots stretched far into my childhood, into moments I barely remembered, and even into events I didn’t know had affected me so deeply. The trauma that silently shaped my beliefs, stories, and even my patterns of self-sabotage—it had always been there, just beneath the surface.

The idea that trauma has impacted my life never crossed my mind as I used to think trauma was only about extreme fears or experiences. In my mind, trauma was limited to things like a fear of heights or the harrowing experiences of those who had endured wars, sexual abuse, or natural disasters. I placed it firmly in the category of the extraordinary and catastrophic, believing it only belonged to those who had lived through what I considered "extreme events." I saw trauma as something distant—an issue that affected some people, but surely not all of us.

But life taught me differently. Trauma doesn’t only emerge from monumental or newsworthy experiences. It can be born in the quiet corners of our lives, in moments so subtle we barely notice them. Maybe it’s the hurtful words from a loved one that echoed through your formative years. Or the rejection that left you questioning your worth. Or perhaps the seemingly small incidents that, over time, layered themselves into barriers that shape the way you see the world and yourself. Big or small, we all carry our own baggage, our own traumas, woven into the fabric of our lives, often without even realizing it. 

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Healing those wounds was—and continues to be—one of the most impactful journeys of my life. For years, I believed that simply moving forward and leaving the past behind would make everything better. But the truth is, unresolved pain has a way of influencing every aspect of our lives. It shows up in the decisions we make, the relationships we nurture, and even the way we perceive our own worth. It’s like trying to build a new home on unstable ground; no matter how beautiful the structure, the foundation will always threaten its strength.

I didn't actually know or realize how the healing process begun. It felt like it just happened, which I believe that would be a narrow perspective of looking at the grand design on how God is actually the One who guided me. But surely, there's one thing I can confirm though... It's what we always hear from those who have been through this process: it ain't easy.

Like peeling off an onion, layer by layer our old wounds, scars, and trauma came to surface demanding our recognition, attention, and love. And I can say that this is the craziest process. Confronting old wounds felt like reopening scars that had barely begun to close. It was a great turmoil. And even when one event was done, and we thought we could finally have some peace thinking it was over, another past event appeared. The cycle, then, repeated.

However, as I faced them one by one—through reflection, therapy, meditation, and journaling—I realized something profound: healing isn’t about erasing the pain. It’s about understanding it, embracing it, and ultimately transforming it into wisdom and strength.

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The impact of this process has been life-changing. I’ve learned to rewrite the narratives that no longer serve me, to dismantle beliefs that held me back, and to approach life with a newfound sense of compassion for myself and others. Every layer of pain uncovered revealed a layer of resilience I didn’t know I had. And with each step forward, I felt lighter, freer, and more connected to my true self.

Reflecting on your own story can be a powerful step in this journey. What beliefs or patterns have shaped your life? Are there moments from your past—however distant or subtle—that might be influencing the way you see yourself today? Allow yourself to pause and explore these questions with kindness. Healing isn’t about finding blame; it’s about uncovering understanding. It’s a process of giving yourself permission to feel, to forgive, and to grow.

In the end, healing, I’ve come to learn, is not linear. There are setbacks. There are breakthroughs. There are moments when you feel invincible and moments when you feel utterly defeated. But if there’s one thing my journals remind me, it’s this: every step, no matter how small or difficult, matters. Every attempt to rise after a fall adds up. And every moment spent looking inward, facing the past, is an act of courage.

As I write this, I’m grateful for those turbulent times. They’ve shaped me into the person I am today—someone who knows the value of resilience, the importance of self-compassion, and the power of healing. And while the journey isn’t over, I’m at peace knowing that I’m moving forward, one page at a time.

So here’s my message to anyone who might be reading this: If you’re in the midst of your own struggle, know that it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to falter and resist and stumble. Healing takes time, and there’s no perfect way to navigate it. Be patient with yourself. Trust the process. And remember, every storm runs out of rain.