THE DAY I QUESTION MY BODY IMAGE AND FIND PEACE - WHY IT'S OKAY NOT TO LOVE YOUR BODY

Photo by Gustavo Fring: https://www.pexels.com

That night, my four-year-old niece, who's always curious and full of innocent observation, found a picture of mine in my phone and asked who that person was. When I told her it was me, she didn't believe me. She said that the person in the picture looked like her mom, but why did she look different, she looked fat (I assume what she meant was chubbier coz only my face appeared there).

Everyone in the room burst out laughing, including me. It was so innocent, so pure, but in that moment, I felt a slight twinge of discomfort. I mean, who wouldn't?

I couldn't help but laugh along, but I also couldn't deny the sudden sting of insecurity. As the laughter faded and I sat with myself for a moment, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling. I wondered,'Is that what I really look like?'

As I continued to dwell on that innocent remark, I stumbled upon an IG post that completely shifted my perspective. It said, "I don't have to love my body".

***

Folks, I don't know if you can relate to my story, but I guess we are still bound with the reality of what society claimed by beauty standard. This creates the world that full of insecure people which are the target market of many products - from head to toe.

Many of us feel that body image is a tricky terrain to navigate, especially in a world that often expects us to love every inch of our bodies, no matter how we feel. We see it everywhere—on social media, in advertisements, in magazines—this idea that we should all strive for unconditional self-love, especially when it comes to our physical appearance.

But what if I told you that it’s okay not to love your body? That accepting where you are right now is a powerful step toward a healthier mindset, regardless of your fitness journey?

So, let’s dive into why it’s okay not to love your body at the moment and how this can actually help you move forward in healthier ways.

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The Pressure to Love Your Body

The massive campaign on social media about loving ourselves intends to make us care more about ourselves, including our body. We are taught to love our body. Even further, to take that step - which to some can be alarming - to observe our body reflected in the mirror and bring love to our body. 

It might sound like an easy task. Unfortunately,  in reality, that’s not always the case. As much as we know that it’s the right way and that’s what we should do, for many, that message feels like a daunting, unreachable goal. 

I mean… let’s admit it. We all have parts of our bodies we feel less than thrilled about—whether it’s the shape, the size, the scars, or the way it changes over time. Feeling pressure to love our bodies, despite those imperfections, can be exhausting. So, how would you truly love something that sometimes feels like it's letting you down?

In that case, what if we shifted the focus? What if, instead of pressuring ourselves to love our bodies, we simply accepted them?

Acceptance Over Perfection

“I don’t have to love my body” is not the same as "I hate my body”. It’s just another way of saying that I am accepting my body the way it is. It is validating the emotion and embracing it compassionately.

Also, not loving your body doesn’t mean you’re at war with it. In fact, not loving your body can actually be a form of deep acceptance. It frees us from the resistance we often create when we feel forced to love what we don’t truly feel connected to. When we acknowledge that we don’t have to love every single part of ourselves, we can stop fighting against our imperfections and simply make peace with where we are.

Acceptance allows us to let go of the judgment and frustration that can come from trying to fit into society's idea of beauty. It gives us permission to be human—flawed, changing, and beautiful in our own way. By accepting ourselves as we are right now, we can start to build a healthier relationship with our bodies, one that focuses on progress, not perfection.

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Working on Our Health – Without the Pressure

Don’t get me wrong, though… I’m not saying that we passively accept our bodies the way they are, and use the statement “it’s okay not to love our body” as a shield or an excuse for not taking care of our bodies. 

Taking care of our bodies is our responsibility. With full acceptance and openness, we can manage to improve our diet or commit to a workout routine without any pressure since the goal isn’t to fit into a specific mold, but to feel good and take care of ourselves. And as we stop expecting perfection from ourselves, we are often more motivated to work on our health in a balanced and sustainable way. 

Working on your body in a way that feels good to you—whether through fitness or nutrition—is about showing up for yourself and honoring your health. It’s not about achieving some unattainable standard of beauty, but about fueling your body and keeping it strong, agile, and nourished. When we stop holding ourselves to unrealistic expectations, we can take steps that align with our values, our abilities, and our unique needs.

No Resistance, Just Progress

I personally feel that saying “I don’t have to love my body” frees myself from the toxic positivity to love myself. I mean, some of us might share this same feeling that when we stand in front of the mirror observing our body, it’s hard to deny the part of the body that we are not keen on. But then, we pretend not to feel that way and choose to chant the mantra believing that this is the right way to give love to ourselves, especially our body.

We hide the truth, deliberately neglect, or rather make ourselves blinded to see and hear what our heart says while there’s actually resistance laying there. It means that we don't align with what we feel, which then create inner tension and pressure that often leads to burnout, frustration, or unrealistic goals - making things even harder to love and get connected with our bodies.

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The chanting “I love my body” doesn’t bring the vibe coz that’s not what we actually feel. And if that’s the case, aren’t we fooling ourselves? On the other hand, saying “I don’t have to love my body” allows the resistance to loosen up and open the flow of acceptance.

Releasing resistance is the main key to our long-term success in this journey. However, it’s important to note that accepting our bodies isn’t the same as giving up. Acceptance is about being honest with where we are, while still setting goals that help us move forward.

Shifting our mindset toward acceptance allows us to move forward without that constant friction. We are more likely to stay consistent with our health choices and make changes that feel natural.

Embrace Your Journey

“I don’t have to love my body” is not a form of neglecting my body. Instead, this is the way I admit all the mistakes that I made in the past when I did not put much consideration about what I ate; when I did not educate myself properly about self-love, health and fitness; when I did not care about myself; as well as when I was in my survival mode. It all happened. I’m not proud of it, but I admit it. It was my mistake. 

Having this awareness in mind, I am willing to take my journey one step at a time. There’s no need to compare myself with anyone else as body image is a personal experience, and it's completely okay not to love every part of your body. The journey toward accepting your body is not about reaching some destination of self-love, but about embracing the process. 

So, instead of forcing yourself to love your body, work on accepting it, flaws and all. Be kind to yourself, focus on your health, and release the resistance that comes from trying to live up to society’s expectations. Your body is yours, and no matter where you are in your journey, it's already worthy of respect and care.

Remember, acceptance is not defeat. It’s the foundation for real progress. Besides, acceptance is the highest form of love. In that case, doesn’t it also mean that we love our body by accepting the way it is? So, folks… Take it easy, take care of yourself, and let go of the pressure to be perfect. Your body will thank you.